Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Before it's too late...

How many of us had a higher secondary school teacher who went for a walk with us, talking about their school days? How many of us had a school teacher who joined for yoga classes and inspired us to go along with them? How many of us had a school teacher who watched Devar Magan & Hum Apke Hain Kaun with us during summer holidays? How many of us had a school teacher who taught us that there is a world beyond studies, job, marriage and children? How many of us had a school teacher who taught to read books for reference in addition to text books, at school?

How many of us had a school teacher who would teach computer operations to blind children, after retirement, for two decades? How many of us had a school teacher who travelled the world and stayed in touch with us? How many of us had a school teacher whose family knew most of her students? How many of us had a school teacher who would invite you home for a quite weekend and a movie, between her own busy retired life? How many of us had a school teacher as a friend for life?

How many of us share the same date of birth with our favorite teacher and have continued to be blessed by her every year, no matter which part of the world she's in, on that day....

Not many of us, I guess. But I did. I should have written this when I could say 'I do have such a teacher'. Today I am writing 'I did'. Today morning, when I called to greet her on her birthday and to be blessed by her, I learnt that my teacher passed away last week. She would be 80 today. We have discussed the scriptures and spiritual way of life so much for so many years that she would only expect me to accept death as a part of life. She was granted her wish by the fact that she passed away peacefully in sleep, after a grand family get-together.

While being thankful to the Supreme for such kindness, I am also overwhelmed with tears of guilt that I have not met her for over six-seven months, despite her invitations to spend time with her now and then. There is probably no one who would want to spend time with me, like the way she did.

There is always work at office and at home, containing me from doing things which I would enjoy and cherish. A quiet evening with my teacher, a brisk walk, chat with long-distance friends, a little sewing assignment, a quick swim, exchange of meaningless text messages with my kids, a photowalk on my own along the train tracks, a closing-time pooja at the nearby temple, an incoherent post in my blog.....

What have I been doing during the recent months, killing myself slowly...postponing everything I loved to do but continuing to work, slog without priorities... ignoring people, ignoring the roll of time, loosing precious parts of life. This guilt would probably remain with me, for a long time to come. I can only hope, this guilt becomes another teacher to me. To live life and not to just pass across...

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Clueless...

There should be a limit to being clueless... there really should be an end to this.

I'm clueless, where to live. Chennai / New Delhi / Mysore?
I'm clueless, where to work. Home / Work / Work from home?
I'm clueless, what to work on. The World / The Self?

Big stuff...serious issues. It's ok to be clueless.

But, someone help me here: why this blind man who sings on the suburban trains, is carrying a cordless mic & amplifier/speaker in his bag. Reminds me of the sick jokes about beggars with slush funds. Ok, let him do whatever he wishes. I'm clueless, should I give him a dime, or not?

:>/

T_T

:/


....



Saturday, January 26, 2013

Musically infected...


It's insanely torturous, is it not? The same song playing in your cranial jukebox in repeat mode without a break, for more than two weeks...

It's unstoppable, though I haven't caught most of the words yet. It's unstoppable, though I don't understand half of the meaning of those words I've made out. It's unstoppable, though I'm unable to relate to the exact feelings conveyed by the meaning...

This one caught me unawares. May be it's the accordion, may be it's the absence of any fusion-like stuff, may be it's just the magic of A.R.Rahman. Whatever it is, Rahman will remain unforgiven for this.

I already know the notes by-heart and may be I'd record it sometime soon.
After all, I love to here myself singing 'When You Say Nothing At All' with Ronan Keating. Aaargh...that scale-change sucks, I agree. But this song... I might get it right all the way.

Nenjukulle...

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Not a day passes by without wanting to write about.... this and that... some serious thoughts, some not so serious; some funny and some not so funny...most of it bland :)

But I don't write at all, though I resolve again and again (almost everyday) that I should keep writing. However bland and silly it turns out to be. Just so, that there's something to look back later, at my thoughts if I can.

What were my thoughts today? Sundays make me want to accomplish too many things: sleep (as in SLEEP - wake up late, sleep again, eat, sleep again...), laundry, stitch, shoot, embroider, write, scan old pix & books... Most of the sundays, I manage to do just the first two things, but today's been great - did all of it except the scanning (it has been my Next Big Thing for too long...)

Well, the resolution worked today. Let me see when it does again...


PS: The double-negative beginning is good, but there's just too much content within brackets. Why?